Even Heros Have the Right to Bleed
by Runs with Werewolfs
Summary: Kendall's got a dark past, one that only his mom knows about. a secret hidden even from his sister. How do the other three react? does Deals with child abuse. a different take on Kendall and Katie's and part of BTR's past. Kames. tis a oneshot people.


**Even Hero's Have the Right to Bleed**

**_It may sound absurd, but don't be naïve, even heroes have the right to bleed. _**

**_warning: contains child abuse.  
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* * *

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_"Dad, please stop!" Five year old Kendall Jackson sobbed, staggering back. His dad stumbled forward drunkenly, kicking the small boy to the ground. Kendall grabbed at his side, feeling something crack. "Daddy, I didn't mean to do it!" he pleaded. "Daddy! Please, Mommy wouldn't like you doing this" _

_Kendall's mommy was a pretty lady. She had long blonde hair, like him, and his green eyes. His Papa said that he and she looked exactly alike. Kendall was proud of that. But Mommy was gone. Dead, according to Grammy. Kendall didn't know what dead **was**, but he was under the impression from the fact that all his Papa and Grammie were crying, and saying that Katie would never ever meet her mommy, Kendall had figured out that she wasn't coming back. Katie was Kendall's little baby sister, only 8 months old. Kendall loved her._

_Papa was old. His hair was all white, and there wasn't a lot of it. He was chubby, like Santa Clause and he wore glasses. Grammy said he had _Alls something. _Kendall didn't know the word, but he knew Papa was forgetful and that was why. Kendall loved his Papa, he smelled comforting to Kendall. Mommy had always said that Papa smelled like cinnamon. Kendall liked cinnamon. _

_Grammy was as old as Papa. She had short grey hair, and green eyes like Kendall did. She was small, and skinny. She said she was arthritis. She was sweet and smelled like sugar and flowers. Her voice was like Mommy's. Kendall's other grandparents, Grandma and Granddad, said that Grammy was getting too old and should go live in a rest home. Grandma and Granddad were young, a lot younger then Grammy and Papa were, and didn't really like Kendall and thought Katie was a waste of time and effort. Kendall didn't like them, they smelled, like those gross things they put in their mouths and smoke came out of their mouths. They scared Kendall. Grammy and Papa were Mommy's mom and dad, and Grandma and Granddad were Daddy's parents._

_Kendall stumbled back and let out a shrill scream as he crashed into a table, sending the glass vase on it to the ground. It broke into a million pieces and some of them hit Kendall, cutting him. It hurt and he didn't like it. "Daddy! Stop!" Kendall screamed._

_His dad smacked him with the back of his hand, leaving it stinging. "Shut up, runt, or the neighbors will hear you" he said angrily. "Now, go clean the bathroom, since you decided to dirty it up with your vomit" his dad said angrily. "and when you're done with that, go change Katie, I'm going to go watch the game in my room. Don't make a peep, and listen for me to call you"_

_Kendall sighed and trudged into the bathroom, his stomach still nauseous. He didn't feel good in his tummy, like last year when his mommy had said he had the flu. He didn't think he should be near Katie, Grammy said that babies could get sick easy. He cleaned up the mess he had made, and then grabbed a diaper out from under the sink. He went into his and Katie's little bedroom, and got her out of the little cradle she slept in, something Grammy had given them because it was Mommy's and wouldn't Katie be happy to know she slept in her mommy's cradle. _

_Kendall put her on the ground, smiling as she cooed. Katie had daddy's eyes and hair, but she was prettier and her eyes were big like his. He changed her and held her for a minute, tiny arms trembling as they held even tinier arms. Suddenly, she began wailing. "Shhh, Katie, shhhhh" Kendall pleaded, daddy said no noise and Daddy meant business. He put her back in her crib and ran to the kitchen to go get her a bottle. His daddy was standing at the fridge, another drink in his hands. He glowered at the sight of Kendall, and tossed the drink at Kendall, hitting him square in the eye and splattering him with the disgusting smelling drink. Kendall screamed again and turned to run, but Daddy grabbed him by the back of the collar. "I thought I said no noise!" Daddy barked, backhanding Kendall again._

_Kendall whimpered. "Katie was hungry. Please stop hurting me!" he begged._

_Daddy slammed Kendall into the counter. It hurt Kendall's head, made him dizzy. He whimpered again. "You need to follow directions better" Daddy commanded._

_"But I will!" Kendall promised, feeling ill. He leaned forward and vomited, all over Daddy's shoes. With one angry yell, Daddy sent Kendall flying over the counter, where he landed in the living room, aching all over._

_Daddy was coming to kick him more, when suddenly, Kendall heard sirens. The last time he'd heard sirens was when Mommy had gone away. Kendall used up what little strength he had and tried to run to hide behind a couch, but his arm and leg and his sides hurt, and he could feel the bone sticking out of his arm. He didn't want to go away and leave Katie, Daddy would make her go away too. _

_Kendall watched as a man burst through the door, holding a gun. He fought the urge to scream, he knew what those did. He didn't succeed, because he screamed loudly. But the man was putting handcuffs on daddy and telling him that he had the right to something._

_A woman followed the man in, and looked around the room, smiling when she saw the little boy peering from behind the couch. She came over and knelt down. "Hi, there." She said._

_Kendall blinked. "Hi" he said quietly, feeling himself shake._

_"I'm Penny, who are you"_

_"Kendall. I'm five" Kendall said, sucking on his thumb. He hadn't done that in a while, daddy said only babies did that. But it made Kendall feel good, even if it hurt his arm really bad to move it. He wanted to cry, but Daddy said that was for babies too. "My arm, it hurts." He said softly, tears in his eyes._

_Penny smiled. "Well, Kendall, I'm here to take you to a safer place. Do you want to go pack anything"_

_Kendall nodded. "Yes. My baby sister, Katie" he said softly. He didn't have much else, just some clothes and- "And Ningy" he said. He was so tired and his body hurt really bad._

_"What's Ningy?"_

_"My teddy bear. Mommy gave it to me, before she went away." Kendall said._

_"I'll go get them" Penny said. If she moved him, he might get even more hurt._

_Kendall shook his head. "No, I'm going!"_

_"Kendall, I'll go"_

_"I'm going!"_

_"Sweetheart, calm down, you'll-"_

_Kendall threw himself onto the floor, sobbing. "But I want Katie!" he sobbed. Penny sighed, writhing would only make it worse. If she were to help him, he'd probably be less hurt than throwing a fit would. "I love her!" _

_Penny sighed. "Well, why don't we go get Katie and Ningy then" she said, standing up. She held out her hand and Kendall took it, but couldn't stand up, his leg hurt too bad and he was about to cry from the pain. She frowned and bent down, lifting him up onto her hip, like Mommy always did, being careful of his leg and the arm. "Where are they?"_

_"Upstairs" Kendall said sleepily, putting his head on her shoulder. She walked up the stairs and found their room, since Katie was crying. She sat Kendall down on the bed and took out a radio, looking into the cradle. _

_"I'm going to need assistance, I have two children, both of whom are malnourished and dangerously underweight." Penny said into the radio. "The older one is bleeding and I think he has broken bones and maybe a concussion" she said. _

_Kendall didin't know what that was, but it scared him and he hurt so bad. He began sobbing, reaching for Ningy and clutching her to himself with the arm that didn't hurt. _

_Penny was holding Katie now, as Kendall heard someone else coming up the stairs. It was a man dressed like the woman who had taken mommy away. Kendall whimpered. "I don't wanna die" he said._

_Penny smiled, brushing red hair out of her face. "I won't let that happen, Kendall" she said, rocking Katie, who had stopped crying and was cooing. "He's just going to take you to a doctor, so you're not hurt."_

_Kendall nodded and let the man lift him up. "Will you go with me, Penny?" he asked softly. Penny smiled and nodded, following them down the stairs. Kendall dropped Ningy, but Penny bent down and picked her up again._

_When the man put Kendall onto the bed with wheels on the porch, Penny gave Kendall Ningy again. The man who had taken daddy away came up. "Penny, how they?" he asked._

_"The little girl is malnourished but she's in good physical shape. A couple days with good feedings and I think she's fine."_

_"and him?"_

_"I don't know, I'm no doctor, but he's not as lucky as his sister is, that's for sure" Penny said softly. "He's terrified" she added. "I'm going to go with him" she decided._

_"What about the baby?"_

_"I'll take her with us, she should be seen by a doctor anyways."_

_"She could get sick"_

_"I'll find a mask for her" Penny said, following the man who was pushing Kendall's bed into an ambulance. She held Katie with one arm the entire way, and held the hand on the arm that didn't hurt Kendall with the other hand. _

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* * *

_

_A couple days later, Penny came to visit Kendall. Kendall was sitting in his hospital bed, talking to the boy in the room with him, a pretty boy named James, who was in the hospital because he'd had surgery. Kendall liked James, he was funny and he sang songs all the time. A couple times, when Kendall had had nightmares, he'd sung songs to him. James didn't know why Kendall was there, because James had been told by his mommy and daddy not to ask and Kendall had been told by Grammy and Papa not to talk about it, because James didn't need to know. Papa had told James's mommy and daddy that Kendall and his dad had been in a bad car accident and daddy hadn't made it. Kendall went along with it, he didn't want James's parents to think he was bad. He and James had decided they were going to be best friend._

_There were two other boys in the room as well, a boy named Logan who had had his tonsils out and didn't talk and a little boy named Carlos who had been in a car accident for real. Logan was quiet because of his tonsils and Carlos slept a lot, but Kendall liked them too. He hoped when he started kindergarten, maybe they'd go with him, since they were all the same age. He would like that, it would be a lot less scary if he knew four people"_

_James smiled when Penny came in. "Kendall, is that your mommy?" he asked._

_Kendall shook his head "No, that's Penny. My mommy went away"_

_"Like your daddy?"_

_"Yup" Kendall lied. Daddy didn't go away like mommy, and Kendall didn't care if Daddy did go away now._

_Penny sat down next to Kendall. "Hello, Kendall, how are you today?"_

_"I feel good, but the man in the coat says I'm not better, but that's okay, because If I left, James would be alone"_

_"I'd have the other two"_

_"but Carlos is always sleepy and Logan doesn't talk" Kendall said. Logan was asleep, so he didn't hear Kendall talking. "Penny, how's Katie?" he asked._

_"She's good." Penny smiled. "I want to talk to you though" She said._

_"Okay" Kendall smiled sweetly up at her._

_Penny felt her heart break at the sight. She didn't know how anyone could hurt such a sweet child as Kendall, who was sitting in his bed, Ningy tucked firmly into his casted arm. His big green eyes bored into her and he was expecting something._

_Penny smiled. "Kendall, your Grammy and Papa are too old to take care of you, sweetheart" she said. "and your dad's parents don't want to"_

_"No one loves me?" Kendall asked, tears filling his eyes. What did he do wrong?_

_"No, sweetie. I love you. I'd like to adopt you, and Katie, if you want" Penny said._

_"What's adopt?" James asked._

_"It's when you don't have a mommy or daddy, so you have a new mommy and daddy." Penny explained. "Kendall doesn't have a mommy or a daddy, so I'd be his mommy if I adopted him"_

_"and your husband would be my daddy?"_

_"Yes" Penny said. Her husband was dead, he'd died a year ago, he'd been a cop and gotten shot. She was a social worker, who went with the police when children were involved in domestic violence. But Kendall didn't have to know that until later, privately. _

_"And I'd live at your house?" Kendall asked._

_"Yes"_

_"and you'd make me cookies?"_

_Penny laughed. "Of course"_

_"and can I watch TV?" Kendall asked. His daddy didn't let Kendall watch TV anymore, he said that little brats didn't deserve to watch TV._

_"Yes"_

_"Can I use the car" Kendall asked,_

_"Sorry, kiddo" Penny laughed._

_"Would I have my own room?"_

_"I think that could be arranged" Penny laughed. "Is that a yes?"_

_"Oh yeah"_

_

* * *

_

16 year old Kendall Knight awoke slowly, stretching. He turned over in his bed and looked at the alarm clock. It was 2 am. His roommate and boyfriend, James, was sleeping across the room. The open window illuminated his face, and Kendall could see a smile on James's peaceful face. His arms were wrapped around a pillow and he was serene, and it was beautiful. Kendall had never seen anything as beautiful as James sleeping.

The bathroom door between their room and Logan and Carlos's room was open and Carlos would be heard talking in his sleep, something about the world's largest Panini eating Logan. Carlos and Logan weren't exactly thrilled with each other at the present time. Carlos said Logan was too much of a know it all, Logan said Carlos was too care free. Kendall knew that Carlos really didn't want Logan to be eaten by a giant Panini, he was just angry and having a weird dream.

Kendall stood up, wanting to check on Katie and his mom. Penny Knight was the best parent Kendall could have asked for. She was kind and caring and understanding. She loved Katie and Kendall like she had given birth to them, and some days, Kendall was positive she had. He genuinely thought of her as his mother, and she was his hero in some aspects. Her life had been nothing but difficult.

She was been 28 when she adopted her kids 11 years ago. Her husband had died a year before in a shootout. She had made Kendall and Katie her whole life, and Kendall was grateful for that. He couldn't ask for anything more than her. She had made sure he kept in contact with his Grammy and Papa, and kept him safe.

His Grammy was still alive, living in a rest home in Minnesota. His papa had died about 6 years ago, peacefully, in his sleep. Grammy was going nowhere fast, despite her body hurting; she was determined to stay around until Kendall had kids, despite being 90 and Kendall being gay. His Grandma and Granddad had died in a plane crash when Kendall was 7. Kendall hadn't even known until he was 8. He hadn't cared.

The man who had fathered him, Tom Jackson, (Kendall refused to call him Dad anymore, the man didn't deserve to be his dad. Generally, he considered the other three guys fathers to be his dad) had died in Prison last year. Some man, a thief, had found out that Tom had abused his children and chewed him out. Tom had attacked and the thief had pushed him off him, splitting his head open. Since 5 different guards had seen the incident, the thief had not gotten into trouble, since he had been defending himself. He'd only been sentenced to a year longer in jail and anger management classes. Kendall had met the man, at the thief's request and the man had explained that he had two kids, two sons, who he adored. He hated child abusers and had been upset and reacted poorly. Kendall had said that was understandable and asked if his kids were fans of Big Time Rush. They were, so Kendall had signed something for them.

Kendall opened up the door to his mom's room and smiled. She was peacefully asleep, and safe. Kendall walked into Katie's room next. His little sister was asleep at her desk, so he gently lifted her up and went put her into her bed. Her eyes flickered open. "Kendall?" she asked softly.

"Yeah?" Kendall whispered.

"Why are you up?" She asked as he put her down

"I couldn't sleep, so I came to check on you" Kendall said softly. "Go to sleep"

Katie smiled and put her head down onto her pillow. "I love you, big brother. I know I don't say it enough, but I do love you"

Kendall leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Katie. Don't forget it" he said. She smiled and closed her eyes again.

Katie didn't know about her past. Mom had never told her and when she had asked if they should, when Katie was 8, Kendall had said no. He wanted her to stay innocent. She knew she was adopted, but she, like James, Logan and Carlos, believed a car accident killed her biological parents. Kendall didn't want her childhood to be ruined like his had been.

Kendall sat down on the couch, and sighed. He knew he had to tell James and the others soon. He had never wanted to be famous, not really. James just knew exactly how to work Kendall to get what he wanted. Kendall sighed. He knew James would be most hurt of all of them.

He'd been dating James for 5 months now. It would kill James to know that Kendall had been so hurt. James would be hurt that Kendall hadn't said anything. Logan would understand, he was the most empathetic. Carlos would probably cry at some point.

Kendall closed his eyes for a few minutes. He opened them when he felt a weight on his lap. James was straddling Kendall's lap, a smile on his face. "Hey, did I wake you?" Kendall asked.

"No, Carlos shouted something about beating Logan senseless with a ham and I woke up" James grinned. "But then you were gone, so I came to find you. Are you okay?"

"Yeah" Kendall said. "Maybe a little angsty"

"Care to share?" James asked.

Kendall debated for a minute. "If you'll get off of me, I'll share. It's a long, difficult story" Kendall explained.

James climbed off of Kendall's lap and sat down next to him. "What's wrong? Did I do something?" James had always been insecure, a worrier.

"No, this was before I knew you"

"You were five and it still bugs you? What did you do, kill that cat? Drop Katie on her head?" James asked. "Did you- you know, cause the accident"

"No, there was no accident"

"But- you were beat up really bad." James could remember sitting in his hospital bed the night Kendall had been brought in, and wondering what on earth could have happened to the poor boy. He could remember that first night, him recovering from getting his appendix out, and being hardly unable to sleep because Kendall was crying so loudly in the bed next to him. Carlos was the only other one in the room at the time, Logan being brought in the next day, and Carlos had been the only one who slept that first night. How on earth could there not have been an accident?

"James, my mom died when Katie was 4 months old. I didn't know why until recently, but I guess she just couldn't handle having kids, and killed herself. My dad find her and seeing her dead made him insane. He started drinking"

James sighed. "Did he hurt you?" he asked slowly, dreading the answer.

"All the time." Kendall said. "He literally beat the daylights out of me, threw me around the room, and he hardly let me or Katie eat."

"But she was a baby"

"He was messed up. I thought I was going to die, James. I thought my mom was coming to take me to heaven" Kendall said. "I still have nightmares about it, it was so bad"

James sighed. "You cry in your sleep a lot. Your mom said you just have flashbacks to the night of the accident"

"The last night was the worse. I puked on him, so he slammed me over the counter and across the room and was coming to beat the crap out of me when we heard the sirens. I had a fight or flight reaction and managed to drag myself behind a couch."

"Oh, Kendall." James said softly.

Kendall looked up and saw James's face. He looked like he was about to cry. Kendall hadn't cried about that night since that night, but the look on James's face made Kendall lose it. He began crying softly, crying harder as James wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. "It's so dumb to cry about"

"No, it's not. It changed your life. Don't let anyone say crying over your biological father hitting you is wrong" James said softly. "I mean, you were five, I bet you still adored him and everything. It makes me sad to know that you were treated like that"

Kendall buried his face into James's chest. "My mom was there that night. She saved me." He said. "She's a hero"

"You're a hero, Kendall. Knowing you, you took all the crap so Katie could be safe" James said.

Kendall nodded. "She was only a baby, James, she didn't need that kind of treatment. When my dad let me get food for us, I always made sure she had more. Even at five, I knew I had to protect my Katie"

"You probably saved her life. You're a hero, Kendall, especially to me" James said softly. "You always have been, but now, even more. But even heroes have a right to bleed. You don't have to hold it in."

Kendall sighed and wrapped his arms around his neck. "It's not easy"

"I know, I can't imagine" James said softly. "It's terrible and it's not fair. But there is so much good inside of you, and I bet that part of it's from you being made stronger from this. Is he still in jail?"

"He was given 15 years, but he was killed"

"In prison?"

"Another inmate got mad at him and Tom, my biological father, attacked him and he got pushed off the guy and his head got bashed in a little but he died of a stroke a couple days later."

"That's kind of horrible, but a good thing at the same time" James mused. "He can't come hurt you again"

"I know. But there's apart of me that wants closure, to be able to tell him he couldn't bring me down" Kendall said. "A part of me want an apology. I know it's stupid and I'd never get one, but It would be nice"

"I know" James said softly, running his fingers through Kendall's hair. He shifted around, lying back onto the couch. He wrapped his arms tightly around Kendall and sighed. "I love you" he whispered. "Try to get some sleep"

* * *

The next morning, Logan walked out of his room, stopping when he found his two best friends asleep in each other's arms. He knew they were dating, so it wasn't odd for them to be sleeping like that, it was just the location was odd. They both had beds, as far as Logan knew. Why were they on the couch?

He shrugged and walked into the kitchen, whistling, deciding the make breakfast for everyone. As he was cooking, Carlos came stomping out of the back bedroom, glaring at Logan. "What's got your knickers in a twist?" Logan asked as he scrambled eggs in a bowl.

Carlos sat down at the bar. "You're an asshole"

"Thank you" Logan said, shaking his head. "Do you want cheese with your omelet?"

"Yes please, jackass." Carlos said, glancing around. "Why are the lovebirds asleep on the couch?"

"No clue" Logan said. "Probably just woke up early and came to sit on the couch, but fell asleep" he said.

Carlos looked at his watch. "It's 6 am, genius, James and Kendall don't wake up until at least 6:30, once they're asleep, their asleep"

Logan rolled his eyes "Look, I don't know why they're out here, but they are. Can we please just get along?"

"Whatever" Carlos said, shaking his head. "I'm going to go wake them up"

"I wouldn't' Logan said. "You know how James is about sleep. For both himself and Kendall" Logan warned him. "He won't like you waking him or Kendall up. Kendall's the dominant one, but James is just as protective of Kendall. He told me yesterday that sometimes, he wakes up and Kendall is sitting at the window. James never says anything to Kendall, because Kendall's so secretive, him and Mama Knight, about things, but something's up. I think maybe his Granny Schmidt is sick and he's worried. He's had a semblance of concern lately"

"A _what_?" Carlos wrinkled his nose. "Use words _normal_ humans can understand, brainfart"

"Shut up, Carlos. It means a aura of being worried- he's been acting worried" Logan sighed. "Just leave them alone, okay? I'm sure they'll wake up once Katie and Mama Knight wake up"

"Whatever, where's my omelet, looser" Carlos asked, still watching James and Kendall. He turned back to glare at Logan, in time for not one, but three eggs to hit him in the chest in a quick succession, splattering everywhere. Logan was standing in the kitchen, a smirk on his face, an a fourth egg in his hand. "Logan, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Logan reeled back, tossing the last egg at Carlos, hitting him in the face. "There's your omelet" he said with a grin.

Carlos jumped up "What the hell!" he shouted, reaching for a paper towel. "That was uncalled for!"

"I'd beg to differ, you've been poking at me nonstop!" Logan defended himself. "and last night, you were talking about how you were going to beat me senseless with a ham in your sleep"

"What?"

"I woke up for like, a minute and you were carrying on about hitting me with a ham. You basically screamed it, I heard James cuss next door." Logan informed him.

"That's besides the point, you egged me!"

"You were being a jerk!"

"You're a bigger one!"

"I don't think that's possible"

"I hate you!" Carlos screamed. "You walk around here all high and mighty because you have a 5.0 gpa! Some people are happy with lower grades and a social life. Some of us don't have an need to be geniuses!"

"Yeah, well, maybe if you were a little bit smarter, you'd understand that I'm not! I'm just happy sometimes, what's wrong with being happy?"

"You're a jerk, that's what's wrong!" Carlos was screaming, his face was red, and he felt like crying. He was covered in eggs and why was Logan being such a jerk?

"Both of you are jerks!" James's voice chimed in. "Shut the hell up!"

Carlos whipped around. James was sitting up slowly, Kendall still asleep in his arms, and if James got angrier than he was right then, Carlos was sure the world would explode from the pure anger that Carlos could feel coming from James.

Logan raised his eyebrows. "James, we didn't-"

"I know you didn't want to wake me up, but whatever is going on between you two, would you just kiss and make up already? The universe doesn't revolve around the soap opera that is you guy's relationship."

"Coming from Mr. Manspray" Carlos muttered.

"Shut up, okay. There are more important things to worry about." James said angrily. "Children getting hurt, people acting like assholes to others. You need to treat each other better, because one day, we might be on our own. Neither of you have brothers, just sisters, and I hate seeing you two fighting"

"Woah" Logan stepped back. "What happened?"

"I don't know, maybe if you weren't fighting all the time, you'd know something was up. " James spat. "Carlos, go clean up, Logan, go get dressed. I'll make breakfast once I get Kendall up"

"That's comforting" Logan said.

"I'll make cereal, okay, or I'll ask Mama Knight to, since you can't cook without egging Carlos!" James defended. "Just go, and don't be offended when I don't talk to you" he said.

The two left the room, Carlos heading to the shower, Logan heading to their room. James rolled his eyes and shifted Kendall in his arms, pressing a soft kiss to the blond's forehead and shaking him slightly. Kendall's eyes fluttered open and he frowned. "I was having such a good dream" he said groggily. "I dreamnt you met my dad and were yelling at him. It seemed so real"

James laughed. "I was yelling just now, I was surprised you didn't wake up"

"What? Why were you yelling?"

"Logan and Carlos decided to have an argument in the kitchen, screaming at each other. Carlos was covered in eggs" James said. "We have to tell them"

"Damn, right now?"

"Soon" James said. "I basically chewed them out for being selfish, and their gonna be confused about me saying that until they know. We can tell them and Kelly and Gustavo at the same time if you want"

"No, I want to tell them. I'll have my mom tell Katie today" Kendall said. "I'll tell them when Carlos is done"

"Okay" James sighed. "I put myself on breakfast duty, you can stay here and rest if you want" He offered.

"Okay." Kendall sighed and rolled out of James's arms, curling into the back of the couch. "This is going to be hard"

"What's going to be hard?" Logan asked, breezing into the living room in just pants. James raised an eyebrow. "So I don't mess up my shirt. What's hard?"

"I'll tell you when Carlos is done in the shower" Kendall said. "It's that hard to tell, I don't want to repeat it more than once"

"Okay, you're not pregnant, are you?" Logan asked with a grin.

"No, and neither is James, dork. You should apologize to Carlos" Kendall informed him.

"Probably, but whatever" Logan said. "James, do you need help?"

"Gonna dump milk on my head if I piss you off?"

"No"

"Then yes" James said.

Logan walked into the kitchen. "What do you want me to do?"

James turned around, a bowl of Lucky Charms in his hands. "Here, give this to Kendall, and then come back and give him some orange juice"

"Okay" Logan took the cereal, and walked over to Kendall, handing it to him. Kendall took it and smiled. "Can I take a rain check on the orange juice and get coffee?" he asked.

James shook his head. "Coffee's not done yet. I'm going to make it when Carlos is full, so he doesn't want any"

"Okay" Kendall sighed.

Logan walked back into the kitchen as Carlos walked out of the bathroom, cowering at Logan's glance, wrapped only in a towel. James gave him a look. "Go put sweats on or something and come out here, I don't think we're recording today, not if I get my way. Kendall needs to tell you two something"

Logan couldn't help but notice Kendall's hands start shaking. Kendall sighed. "I'm not hungry" he said.

James nodded. "Okay" he said. "Logan, I wouldn't eat until after this, actually" he said.

Logan put the cartoon of milk down. "What's going on?"

"Nothing bad about you, just stuff" James said, putting his bowl on the counter and walking over to sit next to Kendall, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and then taking his other hand. "I'm here, baby" he said softly.

Logan followed James, sitting down next to Kendall. Carlos came out a few minutes later, and after considering for a minute, sat Indian-style on the floor, looking expectantly at them. "What's up?" Carlos asked.

James sighed. "Kendall, it's okay" he offered.

Kendall sighed. "Okay, so you know how we met in the hospital?"

"Yeah" Logan nodded. "James had gotten his appendix out and because he was so young and stuff, they monitored him for like, 2 weeks because he got an infection or something and I had my tonsils out, but I had to stay because I got bronchitis and you and Carlos were in car accidents"

"I wasn't in a car accident" Kendall said softly.

"What?" Carlos blinked. "Well then, what?"

"I- you know how I'm adopted" Kendall asked.

"Yeah?"

"My parents didn't die in a car accident. My mom died four months before." Kendall said. "She- she killed herself. She had postpartum depression or something and she went to my parents room one night, after telling my Grammy that Katie was the ugliest baby she'd ever seen and she hung herself" he was shaking at this point. "In the suicide note, I guess she said that she just couldn't handle my bratty attitude and she hated Katie"

"What?" Logan's mouth dropped open.

"It gets worse, I can deal with that" Kendall said. "My- Tom, the man who called himself my dad, he blamed me and Katie for her dying, so" he shook his head and buried it into James's chest, sobbing.

James sighed, wrapping his arms around Kendall. "Tom hit Kendall, a lot. He beat him up. He starved Kendall and Katie. The last night that Kendall lived with his dad, he threw him across the room because Kendall puked on him. I remember, that first night, Kendall did have the flu. He didn't have a lot to throw up, but everything they gave him came up a few minutes later" James explained. "Mama Knight was there that night, though, and she saved Kendall. I don't know much more, but it was bad" James said.

Carlos blinked and covered his face. Logan just sat there speechless, blinking.

James sighed and finished. "Tom was murdered in prison. Another inmate found out he was a child abuser and chewed him out. Tom attacked him and when the inmate fought back, Tom hit his head. He died of a stroke"

All four of them sat in silence for a few minutes, except for Kendall's heartbreaking sobs. Finally, Carlos spoke up. "How long have you known, James?" he asked.

"Since about 2 this morning" James said.

Kendall moaned and looked up. "I should have told you. I was afraid you'd hate me"

Carlos stood up, and put a hand on Kendall's shoulder. "I'd never hate you." He assured him.

Logan nodded and stood up. "I need to go think" he said. "I can't process this" he said, shaking his head.

"Does Katie know?" Carlos asked.

James shook his head. "No"

Carlos sat down in Logan's empty spot, threading his arm between James and Kendall, a usually dangerous move, but this time, neither cared. He put his head on Kendall's shoulder and sighed. "I'm sorry man, that's rough" Carlos said. "I can't even imagine"

Kendall sighed. "I have nightmares sometimes." He muttered.

"It's okay, I have nightmares about the car accident sometimes. Shit happens, Kendall. Your shit is just a lot more serious than it should be, you're great and you don't deserve that crap. I'm glad you're safe now, and your family loves you, and not just your mom and Katie"

Kendall shuddered. "Thanks. Does Logan hate me?"

"No!" Carlos sighed. "It's just a lot to deal with"

James sighed dramatically and pulled Kendall to his chest. "I hate this" he said.

Carlos sighed. "James, maybe you should just tell Gustavo and Kelly, Logan and I will sit with Kendall." He offered.

James nodded. "I was think that too, this is too much for him" he said.

Kendall sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm exhausted already" he said.

James sighed. "That settles it"

* * *

Logan hadn't spoken to Kendall since the confession. He was sitting, stone cold, next to Kendall, staring ahead, unresponsive. Kendall knew he was only processing what had been revealed, but it still killed him. Logan was his best friend and he hated Logan being so confused.

Carlos, on the other hand, was sitting on Kendall's other side, holding Kendall's hand comfortingly, and holding a box of tissues in his other hand, whispering little encouragements, in both English and Spanish. Kendall didn't understand the Spanish, he'd taken german in school, but he appreciated the effort.

He could hear James in the office, but only little pieces. He loved that James willing to deal with Gustavo, who scared everyone but Kendall, who had been through worse, to make Kendall feel better. James had his short comings, but Kendall had rarely felt as important as he did when James was being like this. He wasn't his mom's top priority, he shared that with Katie, but with James, he was the only thing that James cared about sometimes and it felt good.

Suddenly, the door burst open and James walked out, face emotionless. Kelly followed him, sobbing hysterically. Gustavo brought up the rear, looking shocked. Kelly hurried over to Kendall, throwing her arms around him and babbling. Kendall sighed and let her babble on, hugging her. James smiled and sout down on the arm of the couch, at Logan's arm. Logan quickly got up and pointed, letting James sit next to Kendall.

After a while, Kelly let go of Kendall and hurried off, probably to go cry in the bathroom or something. Kendall bit his lip. "She's- wow"

Gustavo sighed. "In light of recent- you've got the day off" he said. He put his hand on Kendall's shoulder as Kendall went to leave. "Kendall" he said. "Everything's fine, right?"

Kendall nodded. "I'm just emotionally drained. I'm a big boy, Gustavo"

"You don't have to hold these things in. No matter what, you can tell us when something like this happened."

Kendall nodded. "Okay."

Gustavo suddenly pulled Kendall into a hug, crushing the blonde. "I'm proud of you. All four of you" he said. "You're not like other bands. But would you stop hiding things. I want all secrets that you want to tell, out now"

James grinned. "I'm gay!" he said brightly.

"Yeah, I know, you told me five months ago" Gustavo said. "Anyone else?"

Carlos raised his hand. "My ear is filled with raw eggs"

"Nice to know. Logan?"

"I-I got nothing" Logan said. "Kendall- I love you, you know that" he said.

"I know. It's hard to deal with, though" Kendall offered.

"Basically" Logan said.

James sighed. "We should get home, Katie's going to need one or more of us, I bet" he decided.

* * *

That night, crawling into bed, James crawled into bed with Kendall instead of his own bed. "Katie took that rather well" he said.

"Yeah, I mean, she didn't really care, just wanted to know about me" Kendall said, snuggling into James. "I love you"

James smiled. "I love you. Do you think we'll be together forever?"

"And a day" Kendall pledged. "Best Friends, Boyfriends, Husbands, it doesn't matter, as long as it's you and me. For the first time in 11 years, I feel at peace. I don't feel like I'm going through this with just my mom. It will affect me forever, but I'm glad you all understand"

"Kendall, it's not like you were revealing you're part lizard or something" James grinned. "You didn't do anything wrong. But I hope you sleep in peace tonight, because you're safe."

"I know" Kendall said. "I hate being vulnerable, because of Tom and now, because of him, I'm vulnerable. I like having you arund though."

James smiled. "I'll be around, then" he said, smiling."We had a day"

"I'm glad Logan and Carlos are friends again"

"Friends?" James laughed. "When I walked past their room after checking on Katie, Logan was pinned somewhere between Carlos and the bed, and I'm not quite sure who's lips were whose"

"They're special" Kendall laughed. "I'm so glad that their together though. Lifes better with a boyfriend, I hated being alone, even though I hate to admit it, I need you. I'm glad I'm not dealing alone now"

"You're not superman, Kendall. You don't have to be alone. Even heros have the right to bleed."

Kendall fell asleep not long after that, wrapped in James's arms and for once, completely at ease, like nothing would or could ever hurt him. He was safe and as long as James and Logan and Carlos and Mom and Katie and Gustavo and Kelly were there, he knew he was okay. Everything would be alright.

_

* * *

_

_A/N: I know. I'm not sure what to think of this._

_So I was depressed because I got a really nasty flame and then I also have gotten plagarised YET again, and that's just in the process of working on this. So yeah, lifes lovely, thanks for asking._

_I got this idea while listening to Superman by Five for Fighting. It's an amazing song. It basically hit me like a ton of breaks. I don't think I've ever read a story about (A) Kendall being abused by a father who wasn't the elusive Mr. Knight and (B) Kendall and Katie being adopted. but I think maybe they could be. _

_Special Thanks goes to Dalton, who helped me work out bits of this and medical stuff. _

_and couldn't you just see those four ending up in the hospital together?_

_Okay, shameless plug time. I write oneshot requests and I WANT SOME for when I get Writer's Block. I probably won't write smut, but I might pass it off onto someone else if I have to. There's an app on my form._

_Oh, and if you steal this story, or any of my stories, Dalton is biting at the bit to start a war, so...beware._

_LASTLY, I only own BTR on the fifth Monday of each week. Make sense of that. AND i did mean each week. basically, I don't own.  
_


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